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I cried for 18 months.
18 MONTHS!! Not every second of every day, obviously. But from the spring of Alex’s senior year until Christmas of her sophomore year, tears were never very far away.
She got her scholarship offer in December, and I was fine. Excited, even. I told her to chase her dreams, and she did!
Proud of her. Proud that she had worked so hard. Proud that she had this opportunity.
And then sometime around March, it hit me.
She’s ACTUALLY leaving me. And I can’t stop it!
The panic hit and that was pretty much it for me.
I cried all spring. I cried all summer.
I was there. I was present. I enjoyed her. We shopped, planned, packed, talked about college, got excited about everything that was coming.
And I still cried.
Because knowing your kid is ready to go does not mean you’re ready to let them.
The Drive to Albuquerque Was…Something
I cried the ENTIRE drive to Albuquerque. Just ask Alex.
I’m pretty sure she spent most of that drive thinking, Good grief, woman, pull yourself together.
We got her moved in. We did the dorm room thing. We said goodbye.
And weirdly, leaving her there wasn’t even the worst part. Coming home was.
We pulled into the driveway, opened the garage door, and her car wasn’t there.
I lost it. I wanted to sell the house and move. I am not exaggerating.
Because suddenly the house wasn’t just a house anymore. Every single spot in it was a memory.
I could see her sitting on the floor playing with the dogs. Doing handstands in the kitchen. Walking down the hallway.
And then there were the salad forks.
The SALAD FORKS.
Those brought on a complete meltdown because that was all she ever used.
And yes, I said was there for a second, but that’s not even true. She still refuses to use a big fork because apparently those are for adults.
What can I say? She’s MY kid. LOL!
Her Bedroom Door Was My Worst Enemy
Her bedroom was at the end of the hall. And when she lived at home, if the door was closed, she was in there.
So after she left, if I walked down the hall and saw that door open, my brain immediately registered one thing:
She’s not here. I hated that stupid open door!
It sounds ridiculous until you’ve lived it. Because it wasn’t about the door.
It was that my kid had been part of the rhythm of that house for 18 years, and then one day she just…wasn’t.
Everything looked the same. But nothing felt the same.
And Then There Was the Worry
Oh, I worried.
Would she make friends? Would she be lonely? Would somebody hurt her? Would she be safe walking around campus?
I was terrified of all the things moms are terrified of when their daughter moves away. Assault. Rape. Bad decisions. Bad people. The things you know happen in the world and desperately wish you could somehow put a bubble around your kid and keep them from ever happening to her.
I signed up for every college text alert I could get.
Every. Single. One.
So I knew every time there was police activity anywhere near campus.
An accident on the main road?
I knew.
Something happening near the dorms?
I knew.
A guy with a machete on the field near her dorm?
OH, I KNEW. (And no, I’m not making that up!)
Whoever thought college safety alerts would be comforting to parents clearly did not know me.
I Was Sure She Was Never Coming Back to Arizona
That might have been the hardest part of all.
I truly believed dropping Alex off at college meant I was watching her leave Arizona for good.
Not that she’d never visit. Of course she would visit.
And I wasn’t just making that up in my head. She told me how much she loved it there.
She loved Albuquerque. She made new friends. She loved her teammates. She loved her classes.
And then it snowed.
IT SNOWED!!!!
This was a HUGE deal for a girl who was born and raised in the Arizona desert. Snow was not some annoying thing you had to shovel before work. Snow was magical!
She made snow angels. She sent me pictures. And from her dorm room, she had this gorgeous view of the campus covered in snow.
I remember looking at that view and thinking, Well, that’s it. She’s never coming back now.
New friends, teammates she loved, classes she loved…and now she had SNOW?
Yeah. I was pretty sure Arizona had officially lost the debate.
So yes, in my head, this was where her adult life started. She would make friends there. Build a career there. Meet someone there. Create a whole life somewhere else.
And I would be the mom she flew home to see.
I was so sure I knew how the story was going to go.
I didn’t.
And Then She Started Talking About Coming Home
Through all of it, I loved every text, every phone call, every visit home. And yes, it is now 2026 and I STILL have allllll the texts.
Then about six months before graduation, she shocked me. She told me she was planning to move back to Arizona.
REALLY?????? OMG. HAPPY DANCE!!!!
I had spent years convinced she was building a life somewhere else, and suddenly she was telling me she was coming home.
Now, coming home did not mean moving back in with Mom and Dad forever. Let’s not get carried away. 😂
Her plan was to live at home for a short time while she found an apartment. She wanted her freedom, and she really didn’t care whether that apartment was close to us.
Fair enough.
Then the story shifted again.
She asked if she could stay home a little longer and save money for a house.
Uh…twist my arm a little more, sweetie. LOL! I got to keep my girl for even longer.
We started looking at houses closer to work, and she was ready to put in an offer on one about five miles from us.
FIVE MILES. Wonderful!
Then we decided to take one last look at some model homes.
And that was the beginning of the end. She fell in love with one.
Closer to work? Nope.
Farther away from Mom and Dad? Also nope.
Today She Lives Two Miles Away
Two. Miles.
The daughter I sobbed over for 18 months because I thought she was leaving Arizona forever now has her own home just two miles away.
She has her own career. Her own life. Her own plans.
She is completely grown up.
Well, except for the big-fork thing. Apparently we have limits.
And I look back now at the mom who opened that garage door, saw the empty space where Alex’s car should have been, and wanted to sell the entire house because every room hurt too much…and I wish I could tell her what I know now.
You have NO IDEA how this story ends.
So, To the Mom Crying Through Senior Year…
Cry. Seriously.
If you’re crying in March and graduation isn’t until May, cry.
If you cry while you’re buying dorm sheets, cry.
If you cry during senior pictures because suddenly you realize your baby is standing in front of you looking like a full-blown adult, cry.
If you cry the whole drive to college, I promise you won’t be the first mom who has done it.
You are allowed to be excited for them and devastated for yourself.
You are allowed to love watching them grow up and hate how fast it happened.
You are allowed to know they are ready while also thinking, Nope. I changed my mind. Everybody back in the car. We’re going home.
And when you come home and the house feels wrong because their shoes aren’t by the door, their car isn’t in the driveway, their bedroom door is open, and some stupid little salad fork makes you cry in the kitchen…you are not being ridiculous.
You miss your kid. That’s it.
I can’t tell you where your son or daughter will end up.
Maybe they’ll stay across the country.
Maybe they’ll move somewhere you never expected.
Maybe they’ll end up two miles down the road.
But please don’t do what I did and write the ending before the story has even started.
I thought I knew what Alex leaving meant.
I was completely wrong.
And thank God I was.
Ready to Make the Most of This Part?
If you know this is coming for you in the next year…or two…or even four, you already know how fast it goes.
One minute they are driving you crazy because there is a backpack in the middle of the floor, and the next you are wondering how senior year got here so fast.
And when it does, you are going to want pictures that matter.
Not just something to check off a list.
You are going to want the way they looked at 17 or 18. The smile you know by heart. The sports, cars, music, books, pets, cap and gown, college gear, hobbies, and all the little things that made this season theirs.
Because someday those pictures are going to mean even more than they do right now.
If senior pictures are coming up for your family, I would love to help make that part easy and fun. From outfits and locations to planning all the details, the whole experience is designed so you can enjoy it instead of stressing about it.
Download my free Senior Client Welcome Guide to see what it is like to work with me and start planning before senior year sneaks up on you.
Keep the Ideas Coming…
Want even more inspo for senior pictures? Follow along on Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. I’m always sharing real senior sessions, outfit ideas, posing tips, location inspiration, editing glow-ups, and photo ideas to help you feel ready for your own session.
Got a few more tabs open? Same! So if you’re on a roll, check these out next:
→ Senior Year Planning Guide
→ The Truth About School Yearbook Photos
→ What To Wear For Senior Pictures
